Welcome, citizens!

In our increasingly morality-strapped world, even a self-respecting, virus-carrying monkey thrown into our midst would be hard pressed to match the epidemic known only as...CRIME! (Never you mind that chain-gangs are back in fashion, and that big-city crime rates are dropping faster than trousers at a Milk-of-Magnesium testing lab....crime is still a pretty pesky problem!)

Have you ever wondered what would happen if by some strange twist-of-fate....some uncanny god-knows-what....some inexplicable scooby-doo....superpowers were bestowed upon you?

Do not snicker too readily; such was the fate of an unassuming lad named Darnell Decker. It wouldn't be long before a dreadful, sweat-inducing choice would face him, with a nakedness that was curiously untitillating: would he use his newfound powers to combat that nasty crime behemoth, and follow the path with Mother Teresa's little footprints....or would he shamelessly use this new edge to gain power, wealth, and feminine playthings as his American values had proudly taught him?

For the answer, you'll have to visit your favorite video store and check out the exciting comedy-fantasy feature film...

One day you may well be damned with having to make a similar choice. Will you know what to do? Will you be aware of any school that offers superhero training? Of course not! Seeing WONDERGUY might help....many movies are known for teaching us to "Do the Right Thing," as Spike Lee demonstrated by throwing a garbage can through a store window.

But please don't waste our time; you probably don't have what it takes to be a real superhero. The secrets that lie within this website can only be wasted on those who have the correct character, spirit, musculature and Laundromat. Therefore, you must prove your cape is worth your cod by passing